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West Demerara > West Coast Country Talk > The Country Club > Jokes....share an amusing story..fiction or non-fiction!

Jokes....share an amusing story..fiction or non-fiction!

Moderated by: Ravindra   New Topic Reply Print Author Post Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Mon Mar 28th, 2005 08:52 pm Quote Reply My late sister shared this joke with us in the '70's..(dont know if it is a true story or not...)..she used to attend Wakenaam high school...so this is a Wakenaam joke... One early morning..2 elderly folks crossed each other on the opposite sides of the road.... one said to the other "like yuh a guh town or wha?" theother replied.."Nah, me a guh town" the first one then responded.."Oh! me tink u ah guh town" Guess what??? de boat a dem lil deaf!!!!   Ravindra CFR Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Calgary, Alberta Canada Posts:  673 Mana:   Posted: Tue Mar 29th, 2005 07:54 am Quote Reply Nice one Jane. How about Location: Leonora Train Station Actors: Barabas, generally considered not too smart, and his brother                                                                                                                                        Brother: Gimme 25 cents fu go a pictha nah? Barabas: Wah? Brother: Gimme 25 cents fu go a pictha nah? Barabas: Wah bai. talk louder mi nah hear yu. Brother: [Encouraged by reception] Gimme, 50 cents fu go a pictha nah? Barabas: Bai, go back a di 25 cents ayes   Na(m)an Member Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Thailand Posts:  225 Mana:   Posted: Tue Mar 29th, 2005 08:56 am Quote Reply Two lil boys boasting 'bout their friends as artists: LB 1: mi frien' a di best paintah in di world. One time e paint wan bone pan wan papah. Wan daag  eat haff di papah  before e know a wan papah LB2: Dah na nothin'. Mi frien' draw wan rock pan wan papah and throw am in da trench and e duck. Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Tue Mar 29th, 2005 05:09 pm Quote Reply hear wan ada wan!!! this a true story... a 'cock-eye' man call janny-clyde riding e bicycle one day...now e eyesight was so bad..he had to turn his face completly in another direction fuuh see ... and even den..he nah see prappa.. so one day he see a black 'ting' on the road..so he begin to halla..'shhhh shhh' tinking it was a fowl.... so as he get closer..he realise the 'chicken' nah move so he seh..'ahrite..u staan deh...me guh nack u down den..' so he rode over it... janny-clyde then exclaimed...'yuh nah want fuh  move when we 'shhh' yuh.. now all yuh blood spatta up ...well..yuh look fuh dah..' now, me aunty is he neighba..so she staat fuh laff...and tell janny...'yuh jus ride over cow dung man!!!!' jannny let out some cuss words now..pun the people who own the de. cowz.... de end!!! Ravindra CFR Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Calgary, Alberta Canada Posts:  673 Mana:   Posted: Wed Mar 30th, 2005 12:39 am Quote Reply Jane - too too funny Let's go down the cow dung path nah. i have some jokes on that. McVAN Member   Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:    Posts:  59 Mana:   Posted: Wed Mar 30th, 2005 06:25 am Quote Reply A few strangers traveling in a hire-car from Vreed-en-Hoop going west towards Parika was delayed on their approach to Crane village by a farmer who sent his heard across the road. It was a rather hot day and the passengers became a little irked over having to wait until the road clears.  A male passenger in the front of the car looked over his shoulder and noticed two good- looking ladies in the back seat. Immediately he began thinking up ways by which he could engage them in small chit-chat. He turned around again with the intention of saying something when he noticed one of the ladies letting out a big yawn.   The following is how the conversation played out: Man in front seat: Waah yuh yawn suh, like yuh waan fuh eat meh? Lady in back seat: Naah, meh doesn' eat pork! Na(m)an Member Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Thailand Posts:  225 Mana:   Posted: Wed Mar 30th, 2005 07:53 am Quote Reply Mc... that's a good one!!! Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Wed Mar 30th, 2005 01:47 pm Quote Reply McVan...yuh mek me laaff early dis marnin!!! good one!!! jane Ravindra CFR Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Calgary, Alberta Canada Posts:  673 Mana:   Posted: Thu Mar 31st, 2005 12:04 am Quote Reply Mcvan Bai yu gat me laafing hey about dat pig! Na(m)an Member Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Thailand Posts:  225 Mana:   Posted: Sat Apr 2nd, 2005 07:03 pm Quote Reply wan baaaad thiefman used to regularly steal some ppl's fowls. so di man (Bago) and his wife prepared fu di thief. 2 nites later, di wife hear something in the chicken pen: ............... Wife: Bago, Bago....wake-up quick. Di chor in the pen again. Goh kill am.  man: ah right. mi naa sleep. mi mina wait fu am. bring the cutlass Wife: all right bago man: good.... now ..ammm... whe the faaak deh? Wife: right hey. andah di bed man: good. me gat am..... u think e still dhe-dhe? wife: mi think suh Bago tiptoed to the door oh....mi fuget... whe the hoe deh Wife: wha u want hoe fah bago? u goh hoe am? man: yu goh see tonight. Bago hearing no more noise, tiptoed outside and returned after 10 minutes. wife: u kill am dead bago? mi na hear nun noise. man: kill am? mi do moe dan dah. mi insult am. Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Sat Apr 2nd, 2005 09:04 pm Quote Reply dis a wan tru tru story... in we village had a lady who nah hear too well..she used to sell all kind ah bananas in a basket pun she head.. so she waak pun road shouting...'bananas, all kind ah banana..wha yuh want ..come  buy' suh we live in a street dam...and wan day when Bhairi passing on the road..we call out to she and ask if she gat 'apple banana'...but she nah hear... so we shout again...still she nah hear.. so we naybah walking thru shart-cut help we out fuh shout too.... Bhairi finally ketch something...suh she reply.... "Nah!!! de toilet nah dun build" To this, me naybah buss out wan laughing..and run out fuh  meet Bhairi... so she tell Bhairi...'who ah ask bout yuh tai-lit?, the people want fuh know if yuh gat apple banana..... now dis mek Bhairi vex bad!  because she feel shame de lil gyal laughing she suh  bad! suh she begin to buse the gyal..and she momma and daddy and tell she how she momma mek she etc...and cuss out the generation.....seh she parents nah train dem prappaly etc... well dah became a big joke..everytime de village youngsters see Bhairi..de used to halla "Bhairi, yuh tai-lit don bill now" and buss out laughing...and run away...leffing Bhairi to cuss McVAN Member   Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:    Posts:  59 Mana:   Posted: Sun Apr 3rd, 2005 09:55 am Quote Reply At this time CXC Examination was being phased in gradually as replacement for GCE. Students were quite nervous about the new format of the exams and the school’s administration encouraged us to hook-up with study buddies to release some of the fears and stress that came with the new exams.  There was a student in my class who lived in the next village so, we agreed to study at each others’ home on an alternating bi-weekly basis. Of course that had to be approved by both sets of parents and they all agreed since we were “decent youngsters”, they thought that was a good idea.   During one week when it was my friend's turn to study at my home. His mother asked him to deliver an empty five-gallon milk container at his grandmother's  [they had lots of milking cows] so, we both decided to run the errand since she lived in the back street. Anyway, as we reached the grandmother’s home, we opened the gate and entered the bottom-house. The rest is the text of the conversation between my friend, his grandmother and grandfather, and what occurred. Friend: Granny, yuh look tired in dat hammock!  Grandmother: Son, dat man juss come home an’ seh he wan’ duck curry fuh eat. Meh had fuh cook duck fuh am and meh cook some dall puri de same time suh, meh tired bad-bad. Friend: Weh he deh? Grandmother: He gaan ah road fuh buy wan drink. Today estate gee dem back pay. He guh come back fuh eat juss now an’ yuh guh get fuh see am.  By this time my friend’s grandfather returned from the rum shop with his flatty in his back pocket and proceeded straight to the walk-in kitchen. Grandfather: Ol’ gyal, wah yuh cook? Grandmother: Man like you drunk arredy, ah nah juss now yuh seh yuh wan’ fuh eat duck curry? There was a momentary silence before we heard a big splash in the backyard followed by the sound of fowls and ducks running around. Alarmed, the grandmother lifted herself up from the hammock and stepped into the kitchen to investigate. Grandmother: Ol’ man a wah wrang wid yuh man? Yuh dash-way all dat nice-nice food! Wah yuh guh eat now? Grandfather: Cook squash! Ravindra CFR Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Calgary, Alberta Canada Posts:  673 Mana:   Posted: Sun Apr 3rd, 2005 02:01 pm Quote Reply Jane very nice - i enjoyed it. You painted the picture beautifully to the point where i was at Leguan for that moment. Every village has a Bhairi yu know Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Mon Apr 4th, 2005 05:08 pm Quote Reply McVan... this   gives a clear picture of how alcohol dulls one's senses..huh??? Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Fri Apr 8th, 2005 03:43 am Quote Reply HEAR DIS WAN..HOW COUNTRY- PIKNEY STUPIT.... YUH KNOW HOW WE AH CALL ALL THE OLDER AMN DEM UNCLE AND DE LADY DEM , AUNTY?? well in canefield village..deh had an older couple..chinese mix-cha kinda... so wen me parents passing by demhouse..de use to call out...'ma'nin' Mr. Lo or Ma'nin' Mistress Lo... so we lil pikney now staat fuh seh ' aunty Mistress Lo' and 'Uncle Mr. Lo'.. not until wan day me olda sister finally figah out wha we use to seh..she was about 14 yrs den.... and suh she seh wan day....'but wah abi ah call the people dem uncle and aunty fah..we dun show dem respect with the mista and mistress....??" and we had a good laaf (pun we self)!! none abi evah think about dat b4..and imagine nobady eveh stap we when we talk such stupidness.....   Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Tue Apr 12th, 2005 01:10 am Quote Reply Wife to husband:  "Dah bin a terrible starm las nite man". Husband replies:..."Wha yuh nah bin wake me up..yuh know me can't sleep during a starm"   Guyanese come to visit  dem family in Canada during wintah..gone  back home and telling all dem country folks ... "boy! when we bin deh, the place suh cold..even we words freeze up...dem had fuh wait till the place get warmer fuh dem hear wha we seh"   hahaaahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Last edited on Tue Apr 12th, 2005 01:14 am by VJ Member   Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:    Posts:  98 Mana:   Posted: Tue Apr 12th, 2005 03:46 pm Quote Reply JaneR wrote: hear wan ada wan!!! this a true story... a 'cock-eye' man call janny-clyde riding e bicycle one day...now e eyesight was so bad..he had to turn his face completly in another direction fuuh see ... and even den..he nah see prappa.. so one day he see a black 'ting' on the road..so he begin to halla..'shhhh shhh' tinking it was a fowl.... so as he get closer..he realise the 'chicken' nah move so he seh..'ahrite..u staan deh...me guh nack u down den..' so he rode over it... janny-clyde then exclaimed...'yuh nah want fuh  move when we 'shhh' yuh.. now all yuh blood spatta up ...well..yuh look fuh dah..' now, me aunty is he neighba..so she staat fuh laff...and tell janny...'yuh jus ride over cow dung man!!!!' jannny let out some cuss words now..pun the people who own the de. cowz.... de end!!!Damn you remember some long time story!  Good ole-Johnny Clyde.  That man took some teasing for me in my child and teen hoods. Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Thu Apr 14th, 2005 03:36 am Quote Reply A man brought a lion back from Africa.  One day he was walking with the lion on a leash. A policeman stopped him.  "You can't walk around with a lion.  Take him to the zoo." "Ahrite," said the man. The next day the policeman saw the man and the lion again.  "I thought I told you to  take the lion to the zoo," he said. "Me  did," replied theman.  " but today me ah tek he to de movies."         abidees Member Joined:  Wed Dec 31st, 1969 Location:  Netherlands Posts:  35 Mana:   Posted: Thu Apr 14th, 2005 08:13 pm Quote Reply Wan bushman went to town fu de fus time. Seeing all dem nice fancy tings an so,he decide fu buy a big wall clack. so he ask de salesman if de clack a walk good (working well). Of course, says de salesman, if you wine am good e gu walk fu seven days. De bushman na hesitate he pay aff fu de clak and e write down e address an put am in de clack,then e put am pan de road.Bushman tink to eself da a wan load me na ga fu fesh home. so bushman gu home an tell e family wa e buy. So wan day pas de clack na reach,two days pas de clack na come yet.Bushman get mad, e gu back a town an ask de salesman, wa happen man up to now me clack na reach home yet an yo tell me da ting can walk fu seven days. So salesman said,man me a naal fuget fu tell yo dat de ting bina walk lil slow. Wa yu tink happen to de clack?  Jane Guest   Joined:  Location:    Posts:  Mana:   Posted: Thu Apr 14th, 2005 08:37 pm Quote Reply nice one abidees...somebody get lucky..early christmas present or birthday one...lol  Current time is 04:50 am Page:    1  2  3